Security Physiotherapy

Being a man, I have to make blow everything out of proportion when it comes to little aches, pains, headaches and man-flu’s. More often than not, I’ve gone to the Dr. convinced that some bone is fractured into small fragments and that I’ll need bolts and cables to repair them only to be told its nothing more than a bruise.

So I was quite surprised when I was referred to physiotherapy after having an MRI of my neck and spine. In a dramatic way, it seemed quite exciting, akin to a free spa where I would get a free massage.

Unfortunately, my physio who looked a lot like Lou Ferrigno decided it was better to educate me in the human anatomy and spent 15 minutes explaining to me what was wrong with some of my discs and how it affected the supporting muscles. But to be honest he might as well have been speaking to me in Klingon.

Lou proceeded to explain to me some simple exercises which I have to continue for a few weeks at a time whenever I feel any stiffness. Which translates to, the rest of my life. The exercises seem almost too simple. A few very slow and controlled movements of the neck, only engaging certain muscles and not the others. It is mind-numbingly boring and very slow. So every once in a while working I take a break from looking at my screen, make sure my posture is correct and engage in slow neck movements.

Then it dawned on me that this is probably how senior executives (the ones who pays for information security) actually perceive information security. He probably listens to us talk and wonders which planet we’re from. Then probably goes to the golf range and has a good laugh with his friends about the audacity of us to ask for so much money to fix a problem that doesn’t even exist.

Worse still – he probably even contemplates why he even bothers running an infosec department because money gets poured in and nothing of any monetary value comes out the other end. Just like my foolish physio exercises!

So I stopped my ineffective exercises… however, the pain came shooting back worse than before.

In other words, I have to make time and go through the motions of apparently pointless exercises for no reward. But if I stop, then I will be in agony.

Times are tough and there’s never enough money to spend on security. There’s appetite all around to cut costs. But if security is overlooked a whole lot of people will end up in agony.

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