I have a dream

A few days ago UFC president Dana White was invited to speak at the Oxford Union. Famed for his profanity-laden speeches I was expecting him to do something amazing. But judging by the video, he wasted an opportunity to deliver a revolutionary speech.

So Dana, for next time you ever get a chance to deliver a speech, I’ve given an outline right here.

imageI have a dream by Dana White

10 years ago, two great Americans the Fertitta brothers, in whose symbolic shadow we stand, formed Zuffa. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of MMA fans who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity. But one years later, we have still not achieved our dream.

Whilst we have vanquished the days of Pride and with it the dark days of soccer kicks and 12-6 elbow strikes I still have a dream.

I have a dream that MMA is legalised in New York and we can hold sold out event after event in Maddison Square Garden. I have a dream.

Canadian brothers should accept foot stomps, and never allow Kalib Starnes to run across the border again.

I have a dream Frank Mir would never wish death upon another fighter and Tito Ortiz never fights injured with a cracked skull again.

The whirlwinds of revolution will come when I don’t need to ask fighters if they want to be F*&^ing fighters, and main carders don’t go out with their balls on the line.

I dream of a world where Brock Lesnar doesn’t offend our sponsors and Josh Koscheck stops faking injuries mid-fight.

A place where Steve Mazagati isn’t allowed to ever officiate a match ever again.

A world where judges aren’t visually impaired and can differentiate a wrist lock from a wrist watch, oh I have a dream.

I have the dream that one day we will achieve perfection. A day when karate men and judo men, wrestlers, kickboxers, BJJers, kung fu practitioners, boxers and crazy Russians, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of Big John McCarthy, “Let’s get it on!”

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