I’m a man… no I mean a REAL man. You know like how men are supposed to be. Rugged, hairy, carry a stick around, enticed by the thrill of the hunt and expect my woman to stay at home to cook, clean and look after the babies.
To get an idea of my ultra manliness imagine extracting the DNA of Vin Diesel, Mr T, Chuck Norris, Van Damme, Steven Segal and all the lead cast of the expendables… multiple the testosterone by a factor of 35 and you’ll get somewhere close to the level of manliness I’m talking about.
Growing up I developed the 3-stage debate technique. It works a bit like this, if you find yourself disagreeing with someone you follow the 3 simple steps:
1. Reason with them politely
2. Aggressively inform them they are wrong
3. Beat them mercilessly with your fists until they are a bloody pulp.
These rules have served me well throughout my life. However recently happened which made me think I need a new plan of action. Someone “unfriended” me on facebook. Which left me in shock for 2 hours… and then I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t even type horrid messages to the person because they had blocked me.
Today, I left the most funniest comment on someone’s status, only to see they had removed it. Depriving the world of my witty banter. I could have reposted it, but I assumed they would delete it again, or worse still, unfriend and block me.
That is far too much power for people to have.
How I long for the good old days where I could just jump to step 3.